I seem to be in some kind of space-time continuum loop. Every car I drive stops working, I get it fixed, then it stops working again. Somebody shoot me now.

I don’t know which circle of Hell I’m in, but now the Lexus won’t start. It just gives me a machine gun-like noise when I turn the key. All the electrical systems check out OK, but the engine never catches. Presumably this is a starter issue, but honestly, I wouldn’t it be just jolly if it were the alternator? That’d be like 5 alternators in less than two months. You could declare me the man with the magic touch at that point. It’s not a situation without its humor.

Lexus tops the consumer satisfaction and quality rankings (including the J.D. Power initial quality surveys) and has long been considered one of the most dependable makes of auto you can buy. They are renowned for the quality of their vehicles (some transmission issues in the ’02-’03 models aside), and by all accounts the 1997 era cars should last literally hundreds of thousands of miles. The maintenance history of this car shows both regular servicing and no major issues, so Jobian “why me, God?” may be in order.

At any rate, the car’s under warranty so we’ll be hauling it into the shop tomorrow to see what’s up. What a life.