Oh sure I’ve got my complaints. The USDA and FCC for starters. Wesley Clark for finishers. Lots of love to iTunes in between, though.

I love the bit where the USDA, having been unable to find any of the cows in the herd with the confirmed Mad Cow bovine up in Washington, has now simply abandoned the effort and told consumers “all clear.” What a useless agency.

Speaking of which, I can’t believe that the FCC has, uh, gotten its titties in a twist over the Janet Jackson Super Bowl thing. I didn’t see the actual unveiling, having been appalled enough by the initial Timberlake-Jackson bumping and grinding to mute the set and walk away. Nonetheless, who really cares? Sales of star-shaped nipple shields are up, but otherwise does this make any difference to anyone? Shouldn’t we be much more concerned that the FCC has allowed increasing big media consolidation, the effect of which is that our choices for receiving news are skewed and controlled by relatively few corporations (who almost undeniably do not have our best interests at heart).

Thanks to a couple iTunes gift certificates, I’ve plopped into the iTunes Music Store and downloaded a bunch of songs. My collection’s long been shy of ’50s rock, so I’ve added a few of my favs along with, well, more of my favs from various eras.

Here’s the list: Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley & the Comets; Wake Up Little Susie by the Everly Brothers; Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis; Yakety Yak by The Coasters; Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin; The Peter Gunn Theme by Ray Anthony; Runaround Sue by Dion; The Wanderer by Dion; It’s My Party by Leslie Gore; Oh, Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison; Monday, Monday by The Mamas & the Papas; Summer in the City by The Lovin’ Spoonful; Ode to Billy Joe by Tom Scott & The LA Express; Incense and Peppermint by Strawberry Alarm Clock; Gitarzan by Ray Stevens; You’re So Vain by Carly Simon; Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry; Convoy by C.W. McCall; I Just Want to Be Your Everything by Andy Gibb; Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet; Strawberry Letter 23 by Brothers Johnson; Kiss You All Over by Exile; On Broadway by George Benson; Whenever I Call You “Friend” by Kenny Loggins; Hold the Line by Toto; Every 1’s a Winner by Hot Chocolate; Cars by Gary Numan; Drivin’ My Life Away by Eddie Rabbitt; Guilty by Barbra Streisand; Time Is Time by Andy Gibb; Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson; Calling All Angels by Train; The Remedy (I Won’t Worry) by Jason Mraz; Are You Happy Now? by Michelle Branch; Préludes, Book 1: No. 8, La fille aux cheveux de lin by Joshua Bell; Tutti Fruitti by Little Richard; Immigration Man by David Crosby and Graham Nash; Fire On High by ELO; and Superman by Five For Fighting.

I would rate all of these 4 or 5 stars, with the possible exception of Convoy. A 1970s hit, Convoy is perhaps the greatest unintentional comedy song of all time. I can’t even listen to the iTunes 30 second sample of it without feeling embarrassed. I don’t know if that means it rates five-stars or one-star, but either way it’s easily worth the 99 cents.

While I’m on the subject of unintentional comedy, I thought I might mention ex-presidential aspirant Wesley Clark. I’m sure Clark’s a bright guy and a great general, but the campaign trail is a poor place decide one’s political views. After vacillating on or otherwise mangling just about every possible domestic issue (abortion until the moment just before birth, anyone?) , Clark in the end proved an exponent of and great believer in “Clark for President” and virtually nothing else. How voters somehow found this insufficient as a voting criterion he probably still finds baffling. From the lofty early hopes of his candidacy down to this: I hope the Veep nomination doesn’t come within 10 square miles of him.