Fakers v. Thugs. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, says Argentina, and we don’t. We hate you because you flop at the slightest contact. It’s amazing that the wind doesn’t blow some of those guys over. Now Serbia, well, a loss by Serbia eliminates them from advancing to the second round. You can be sure that they’ll be fouling hard to try to prevent that from happening. They don’t have a pretty game like Argentina, or at least didn’t display it against Netherlands.

GOAL! First minutes in Argentina easily solves Serbia’s defense in ways that Netherlands never could, and you’ve got to think they studied tape or something, because that was not hard. While Netherlands relied on Robben’s blazing speed to give them a 1-0 victory, Argentina made a run, played the ball into a huge gap, and the runner just slammed it home.

Yellow card to Koroman of Serbia in the 6th minute. Probably good call, but Argentina are such divers and fakers that you never know.

Serbia misses wide in the 9th minute. Argentina set up for a shot, but player slips in the 11th. Unlucky. Lot of slipping this Cup. More than I remember in past tourneys. Serbia fouls in the 12th. Another flops. Honestly, the slightest contact puts Argentineans on the ground. It’s really sickening given their huge talent.

Argentinean player being taken off by stretcher, and because all the other players on the team are coming over to pat him on the head and say, “Que lastima,” I’m guessing that for once we have a real injury. Yep, he’s being subbed. Hurt his foot or leg, I think. Can’t tell, but either way, he’s out. About 16 minutes gone.

50-50 on possession, and the game’s settled down now with the defenses clamping down on the attacks in both directions. Nothing dangerous lately. It’s now 23 minutes in.

Looks like a wrote too soon. Koroman (remember him?) fouls on the edge of his box. Free kick headed out for a corner. Taken by the keeper but not without a little danger.

Now Serbia with a free kick outside the Argentinean box. Looked like a dive to me, but what comes around goes around. Foul in the box. Argentina kick.

Nadj of Serbia gets a yellow for holding on a throw in. Argentina’s shot from the top of the box high and wide in the 27th.

OMG! What a beautiful GOAL to Argentina at the 30 minute mark! Hits the runner through the box on the back heel, and Serbia can only watch. Gorgeous attack. Very pretty. I would be surprised if Serbia has anything in its back of tricks that could equal that. 2-0 Argentina.

Argentina called off in the 35th, Crespo was very close. Goes on to score the goal, ref gives in a yellow card for not stopping in a timely fashion.

Argentina breaks down the Serbian defense from the right wing in the 40th on a defensive error. Keeper saves the 1 v 1, but can’t prevent the backside follow-up. GOAL to Argentina. 3-0 now, and the rout is on.

Yellow card to Krstajic of Serbia for the foul that missed touching anyone. Did look like he came in cleats up though. I’m guessing that Serbia will get some guys tossed. “Guys” plural. They don’t have Argentina’s talent, and when thuggery is all you have left, it’s bound to get you in trouble, especially in a game that’s being called as tightly as this one.

OK. There’s half time. 3-0 to Argentina. Second half more lightly blogged as the kids wake up and prevent me (in their lovable way) from typing.

One early decent shot for Serbia in the second half, that’s it. They’ve subbed out a couple of guys with yellows, so maybe they won’t get too many guys tossed after all. Still, I’d be surprised not to see at least one or two thrown.

Argentina fires one up at the 50 minute mark, but otherwise they’re looking more listless. Perhaps they think the games over. I’m not saying they’re wrong.

Just about got another pretty one at 51 minutes, so maybe it’s not listlessness, but a response to greater Serbian effort. If so, that effort will burn itself out in a bit. 3-0 has a way of doing that. Foul to Serbia (though not a great call) just outside their box. Danger, danger. Off the wall.

Quick Serbian counter gives them the best chance of the game, but fellow misses a header in the box.

Ah, and there goes Kezman to a red card in the 64th minute. Guess Serbia couldn’t sub out all its thugs. It wouldn’t leave enough players to field a team.

Another GOAL for Argentina as a set piece off a free kick somehow baffles Serbia on the backside run. Not even difficult. 4-0 Argentina.

Univision is having technical difficulties, so image and sound are coming through intermittently. We get a new still frame image every 3-5 seconds, and the audio which is already in Spanish comes through even more incomprehensible.

Argentina scores a fifth goal, but technical difficulties make it hard to determine exactly how the Serbian defense collapsed this time. 5-0 to Argentina.

Serbia collapses again, and it’s pretty clear that Argentina won’t have any problem with goal differential if it comes to that. 6-0 to Argentina in the 42nd minute. Please God, no extra time.

Well, only 30 seconds. Fair enough. 6-0 to Argentina.