There is no better police story comedy for me than when a suspect attempts to resist a police dog. The big German Shepherds are trained to bite the first body part the offender makes available and not to let go until commanded to do so by their police officer partner.
News reports inevitably start like this: Bad guy commits or attempts to commit a crime; bad guy flees the police, immediately or eventually on foot; bad guy hides from police; police send in K9 unit.
The details might change a bit from story to story, but the part that’s funny is that it always seems to end the same way: Bad guy gets bitten and taken to the hospital. Always.
It’s not like the police are quiet about what they’re doing. They’ll be yelling “We’re gonna release the dog!” because many times that threat alone is enough to make bad guys give up.
(I heard a story from an officer once about a bad guy who was a horribly violent repeat offender. Cops used to dread having to deal with him because it literally took six or seven officers to get the guy subdued even using tasers and bean bag rounds. Then one time he was all jacked up to fight and they threatened him with the dog, and he surrendered instantly. They never had a problem arresting him after that.)
So the bad guys know that a police dog is coming. Yet they try to evade the cops anyway. I suppose if you’re dumb enough to commit a crime trying to elude a police dog isn’t that much dumber.
It’s still pretty dumb though. Here’s today’s police comedy from the Statesman-Journal, Police dog helps with arrest of man. See if you can guess the ending.
A Salem man was arrested Friday after he ran from police to Willamette University, where he hid in bushes until a police dog found him.
Police responded to a call at West Coast Bank on Center Street at 6 p.m., where the suspect tried to deposit three forged checks totaling more than $10,000, said Salem Lieutenant Keith Blair.
When officers arrived, the man drove off in a gray 1989 Chevrolet Blazer. He drove to Willamette University, where he jumped out of the car and ran away, police said.
The car went into Mill Creek on campus, spilling fuel into the water. Both the Salem Fire Department and the Pollution Control Agency responded, Blair said.
A police dog found the man hiding in bushes on campus. When he resisted, the dog bit him in the chest.
Jason Walling, 34, was arrested on three counts of forgery in the first degree; possession of a forged instrument in the first degree; theft in the first degree by deception; felony attempt to elude; and a probation violation warrant for vehicle manslaughter from California.
Walling also was charged with reckless driving, a misdemeanor.
Walling was taken to Salem Hospital, where he was treated and released, and then to jail, Blair said.
Like we didn’t see it coming.