I’m not sure that they’re capable of mass producing a decent toaster and they’ve a history of building bombs rather than feeding their people, but North Korea played a lot better than I expected in game one. I suppose when expectations are as low as mine are for them, it’s hard not to exceed them.

Indeed, I confess my expectations of North Korea are so low that think even Portugal can beat them. I know most pundits again consider Portugal one of the better teams. All I know is this: They will disappoint. They always do. Even in the era of Figo, the term “disappointment” could have been tatooed on their foreheads. I’m not saying that they won’t get out of Group G, but I do think theirs will be a rapid exit thereafter.

Time to first dive for Christian Ronaldo: Approximately 1 minute. Honestly, what a loser. World class talent and this is what he does with it.

Portugal looks bigger, stronger and faster in the early going. They’ve had several speedy counter attacks with pace that look like they’ve caused issues for North Korea. I wonder if this is a strategy designed to tire the Portuguese forwards and midfielders.

Portugal off the post in the 6th minute. NK with a big shot at 10 minutes.

Some 20 minutes in, I’d say North Korea is outplaying Portugal. Certainly the Portuguese defense is nothing to write home about. Perhaps it’s a bad day for them, but I can’t say I see them going very far in the tournament without significant improvement in that respect.

Portugal strikes first with a nice pass into the box that’s slotted past the keeper! Just a long give-and-go it looked like. 1-0 Portugal. Apparently they don’t teach how to defend the give-and-go in Communist countries.

Portugal picks up a yellow. One thing about North Korea: Not floppers. It’s almost enough to make you cheer for a regime that starves its people by the millions. Free kick into the wall.

Portugal with the run of play. Ronaldo loses the ball the wing and, not knowing what else do to, falls down. Like we couldn’t see that coming. 1-0 Portugal at half.

Portugal gets a second 8 minutes into the 2nd. Attacker steams into the blind side completely unmarked. No even difficult. Defender went to help in the middle and left his man wide open. 2-0 Portugal.

A speedy attack down the wing is lofted for the easy header 10 minutes into the 2nd. 3-0 Portugal.

4-0 now on the quick mini-counter. You get the feeling now that North Korea’s spirit is extinguished. One suspects Portugal could double their score if they wanted to.

Thirty-five minutes in, Portugal gets another. They’ve literally missed three more chances that could easily have gone in. 5-0 Portugal.

Ronaldo swipes one from a defender, beats the keeper and puts it in. 6-0.

Ball is crossed in and headed in. 7-0. They’re coming faster than I can type them up. I was still working on Ronaldo’s goal. And it could be higher given all the chances they’ve missed.

We are, thankfully, into extra time now. Done. That was a beat down. Six goals by Portugal—and it could have been more—in the second half.