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most self-deluded online superstar

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How Few Thoughts a Brain Holds 5

Chinese airplane bumper cars, Microsoft's Passport revoked, BC forgets to bring the funny, the NBA tries to get "in the zone," and the hubris of dot-commers remembered with a sad shake of the head and roll of the eyes. I'm probably the only one, but I think, if the Chinese were to check closely at the bottom of the United States recent letter of apology saying we were "very sorry" for their pilot killing himself by ramming into our plane and for the subsequent landing on...

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How Few Thoughts a Brain Holds 4

Thus spake Zarathustra: Any commentary on 2001 shall include a Green Bay Packer with mouse ears, Dubya's elevation to the presidency, a rash of dot-com deaths, and the latest in Microsoft idiocy. And so it was written. I'm imagining the commercial would go something like this: Voice Over: "Mark Chmura, former All-Pro tight end for the Green Bay Packers, you've just been found not guilty by a jury of your peers of sexually assaulting a teenage girl at a party. Now that your...

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Let’s Be Careful Out There

I live my own episode of COPS. Guns, drugs, busts, sirens, traffic stops. An average night in the life of a Salem Police officer, an adrenaline rush of major proportions for me. Kudos and thanks to the men and women in blue. December 8-9, 2000 8:30 PM: I'm introduced to Officer J.K. "Jimmy" Krauger, a veteran and field training officer (FTO) of the Salem Police Department. Jimmy deals with some paperwork and equipment for 30 minutes while I peruse the materials in the...

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Election 2000: Winners and Losers

It was a time of marvelous political theatre if only for the reason that the suspense was thick and the losers plentiful. We won't get it this good ever again. Winners None spring to mind. Email me if you think of any. Losers Yeah, we've got those in spades: George Bush. Campaigning in California and New Jersey? Good grief, you're dumber than we thought (and that's pretty dang dumb). Given the number states in play where you could've spent that campaigning time, this was...

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