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How Few Thoughts a Brain Holds 4

Thus spake Zarathustra: Any commentary on 2001 shall include a Green Bay Packer with mouse ears, Dubya's elevation to the presidency, a rash of dot-com deaths, and the latest in Microsoft idiocy. And so it was written. I'm imagining the commercial would go something like this: Voice Over: "Mark Chmura, former All-Pro tight end for the Green Bay Packers, you've just been found not guilty by a jury of your peers of sexually assaulting a teenage girl at a party. Now that your...

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Let’s Be Careful Out There

I live my own episode of COPS. Guns, drugs, busts, sirens, traffic stops. An average night in the life of a Salem Police officer, an adrenaline rush of major proportions for me. Kudos and thanks to the men and women in blue. December 8-9, 2000 8:30 PM: I'm introduced to Officer J.K. "Jimmy" Krauger, a veteran and field training officer (FTO) of the Salem Police Department. Jimmy deals with some paperwork and equipment for 30 minutes while I peruse the materials in the...

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Election 2000: Winners and Losers

It was a time of marvelous political theatre if only for the reason that the suspense was thick and the losers plentiful. We won't get it this good ever again. Winners None spring to mind. Email me if you think of any. Losers Yeah, we've got those in spades: George Bush. Campaigning in California and New Jersey? Good grief, you're dumber than we thought (and that's pretty dang dumb). Given the number states in play where you could've spent that campaigning time, this was...

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Election 2000: Brains on Display

I attempt the political punditry equivalent of Evel Knievel's jump over the Snake River. Will I land safely on the other side by successfully predicting presidential election returns for all 50 states plus the District of Columbia? Or will my guesses turn out to be a crash and burn? Does a Nader victory equal an early parachute deployment? Will I ever stop with this lame stuntman metaphor and just get on with it? Sure thing. I've stated previously on several occasions that...

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